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Yes I'm lonely wanna die
Yes I'm lonely wanna die
If I ain't dead already
Ooh girl you know the reason why.
In the morning wanna die
In the evening wanna die
If I ain't dead already
Ooh girl you know the reason why.
My mother was of the sky
My father was of the earth
But I am of the universe
And you know what it's worth
I'm lonely wanna die
If I ain't dead already
Ooh girl you know the reason why.
The eagle picks my eye
The worm he licks my bones
I feel so suicidal
Just like Dylan's Mr. Jones
Lonely wanna die
If I ain't dead already
Ooh girl you know the reason why.
Black cloud crossed my mind
Blue mist round my soul
Feel so suicidal
Even hate my rock and roll
Wanna die yeah wanna die
If I ain't dead already
Ooh girl you know the reason why.
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When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh
She's running out again
She's running out
She runs runs runs runs...
runs...
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here...
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| Today is the anniversary of John's Death.
Your blue John, your blue....
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| I'm spose to post a new entry I was told so here it goes.
I got a job working at Rod in Butler under my Step-Dad Scott.
I think we are even now...
My first day was today and I'm tired and sore.
Not use to being on my feet for 8hrs straight at the moment.
But I'm sure I'll get use to it.
See you all on the Dark Side of the Moon.
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| Well my first post in forever it seems.
First of all, I miss my friends very much...
I saw Alan today and that changed everything around.
It almost brought a tear to my eye.
I haven't seen Chris for a while, but hopfully we can get some alone time in one day.
I wish I could just go get Adam some days and have him live with me.
I want to do so much but I have to take smaller steps.
I feel like I have been running around in circles my whole life until recently.
Maybe its because all the people that influenced my life is kinda gone now....
Alan does his own thing, which is cool.
Chris and Merry spend time with each other.
Adam lives in Penn.
(Not blamming anyone.)
I just wish sometimes it could go back the way it use to be.
The Family, together again...
This is probably just a broken man talking nonsense but what else do I have to do....(apparently nothing.)
Alan and I have been friends for almost nine years now.
Chris and I have been friends for almost six years now.
Adam and I have been friends for almost seven years now.
The reason why I have wrote them down on here is because, through those years, they have helped me find myself..
They are my Family, and we each have our place in our fucked up Family.
But since I have moved, it seems The Family has slowly drifted.
I just want to hold you all in my arms once again.
Be there for you as you were for me.
Give you my opinions.
And maybe help you out more then you think.
A couple days ago I realized that being emotional about certain things isn't worth it anymore.
We are all gona die one day, and who is to say it doesn't stop there?
All I'm getting at is that once you die, its gone. All of it.
Once again a ramblen broken man.
Or maybe, I'm not as broken as I think.
My life has been getting better now, and so has my Family.
If I had to choose the last thing to say to them if I would never see them again.
Chris - "You have been my brother and kicked my ass when it was needed, I love you and don't change for anyone."
Alan - "You have been there from the beginning and probably til the end, I love you...and there is a glock in the night stand for you."
Adam - "You are right, we aren't as different as I once thought. I love you, live free and live strong.."
The Family - "Always remember I'll be with you, every step, every heart beat, and every dream."
I love you all so much and would hate for anything to happend to you. One day I hope to hold you all in my arms again....
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